November 19, 2004 in Uncategorized

Oh, to be 26 and unemployed. Wait a sec…

Twas a quality 24 hours. Magically saw a porch swing for free on craigslist, and raced as fast as my little Golf could take me up to the Arboretum. Again, seemingly magically, my screwdriver kit happened to be hanging out in my back seat, so I was able to disassemble the thing and pack it into the car.

“I don’t like you very much…”

I was already a little skittish walking a neighborhood I don’t know, seemingly stealing a porch swing from someone’s front yard. But to swing around and see two guys in a big red F-150 staring at me didn’t help. “Excuse me?”

“I don’t like you cause I wanted that.”


I should have followed it up with a, “Well maybe that’s just Gasoline Karma coming back around. High-mileage vehicle owners shall inherit the Earth, bitches!” But I didn’t. Hm. Probably smart.

Brought the new furniture home, put it together, did some more painting, squeezed in some more Halo 2, and started to clean for Poker Night. Poker Night! What a glorious event. Really really need to do it more often. We don’t play for money, but House Rules of having to do a shot anytime you run out of chips keeps people from tossing away the money, and keeps things entertaining.

Now if the night ends there? Quality night. Lots of fun. But then I get a call from Zack. He didn’t come over because he had a friend in town, but we had both hoped to meet up afterwards. Turns out, there’s a party he’s gonna go to. A Maxim party. Yes, that Maxim.

Took me a little while to process this development, but shortly afterwards, I had Jeff out of bed, and Dawn was driving us to the old airport. We see a small green sign reading “MAXIM SHOOT”, and pull in. So the deal? No cover, you have to sign a waiver saying they can use your image however they want, random dancing women on platforms, and…are you ready for this? Free Beer! Free Beer people! Are you understanding me!?! F-R-E-E! Man, I get all giddy just talking about it. I swear, I must have called or text’ed everyone I knew on the West coast (or further) to brag say hello.

We met up with Zack and his guys, and had a great time. Yes, I love my female-dominated group of friends, but man, I really do miss having a good group of guys to hang out with. And that just makes me get excited about Hawaii even more. I’ve had a surprisingly awesome time putzing around the past few months, but I do think teaming up with Lau will be even better. No pressure Lau.

We left the warehouse, went to the Foundation (very Dallas, but can be pretty fun at times) for a couple more drinks, and then I caught my 481 chariot back home. After which, I promptly headed down to Wendy’s for a $2.14 feast. A Jr. Cheeseburger Deluxe and fries never tasted so good.

5 Comments to Rectum?

  1. hawaii can beat that. we have our budlight labels printed with the hawaiian islands logo on it. they say that hawaii, per capita, is the largest consumer of 1) spam and 2) bud light.
    how does THAT party sound?

  2. chairman on 19 November 2004
  3. Let me reiterate how much you suck for not inviting me: You suck SO MUCH.

  4. Bre on 22 November 2004
  5. e: you know how much i love spumoni. and when i say love, i mean “makes me wretch”. awesome.
    b: oh my goodness. i text’d you! and if i had called you that late, you wouldn’t have even rolled over…

  6. Mark on 22 November 2004
  7. I resent that. First off, your “text” didn’t count as an invitation – it was more an excuse to gloat. And second, just what time are we talkin’ here? I once went to a party at 3:30am – I can party like a rockstar if need be.

    Oh, you’re right. I would’ve hated you.

  8. Bre on 22 November 2004
  9. The 3:30 party doesn’t count–there was the possibility of seeing celebrities, and you knew about it beforehand…

  10. Mark on 22 November 2004

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