Fiendish Creature

Suck it, fiendish creature! Or possum. Or cat. Or whatever you are that’s been crawling underneath my house in the wee hours of night. I banish thee to the depths of my crazy neighbor’s yard with her tacky foliage and annoying pets! With a sound piece of lumber, power drill, and my trusty circular saw I boarded up the portal to your decrepit rendevouz. No longer shall you wake me up at night with your clawing, snarling, and associated balderdash. No longer will I long for the days of sirens and people screaming outside my window to escort me to slumber! Nay! I shall sleep soundly, for I have called upon the mighty powers of Bob Vila, risen up, and smote thee.